Divorce lawyers will tell you that Feb. 15 is one of their busiest days on their calendars. With Cupid’s favorite day on the horizon, we’d like to share with you some Valentine’s Day tips for divorce prevention, as compiled by the editors of Divorce Magazine.
1. Connect lovingly with your spouse every day for 15 minutes
Family and marriage counselors suggest that a couple can significantly improve their chances of marital success by devoting as little as 15 minutes a day – exclusively to each other. Couples could choose to go to bed a little earlier and then wake up a little earlier. That way they could spend the extra time in bed cuddling, making love, refreshing and reaffirming their love for each other. Make sure to take time every day to have meaningful conversations with each other; and listen with the same intensity as back in the dating days. Physical contact is important, too: Touch, hug, and show affection, talk about the marriage and why it’s good, also talk about goals for the marriage and their lives together. Talking about the future helps ensure one, counselors say.
2. Compliment, compliment, compliment
Everyone likes to hear compliments, both in private and in front of other people. Tell your spouse often why they’re special to you and give them positive feedback about the things they do. If your praise is sincere, the effects will be long lasting.
3. Love your spouse the way they want to be loved
If you don’t already know, find out what your spouse yearns for, and then deliver it with love. The key is to give him or her a gift they want – not something you want them to have, and understand the difference. It’s another crucial part of connecting.
4. Look the part (a.k.a. grooming issues)
Your spouse deserves the best from you. Don’t dress like a slob, shave and take care of yourself, guys. Ladies, this doesn’t mean you have to parade around in pearls a la June Cleaver, but don’t wear that ratty sweater he hates just because you’re comfortable in it. Show your significant other you care for them by caring for yourself.
5. Simper Fidelis
You don’t have to be a United States Marine, but remain faithful. Dr. Finnegan Alford-Cooper of Stetson University in DeLand, Fla., wrote a book called For Keeps: Marriages That Last a Lifetime. In it, she reported the results of a study of 576 couples married 50 years or more. She found that 95 percent of the spouses agreed that fidelity was “essential to a successful marriage,” and 94 percent strongly agreed that marriage is “a long-term commitment to one person.” Nine out of ten of those couples reported they were still happily married, even after their golden wedding anniversaries.
6. Happy Together
Another common component of long-term, happy marriages is the spouses have fun together. They regularly share activities that they find fun and exciting. Whatever it is, participate in at least one activity that you both enjoy every week. If you have children, make sure at least half of these activities mommy and daddy alone time.
In the next post, we’ll look at other Valentine’s Day tips for divorce prevention.
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