Divorce a relationship and dissolves a family. Most couples want to avoid a divorce at all costs and will try almost anything to keep their family together. So, even if one partner has made contact with a divorce attorney, there is still time to mend the relationship because the divorce process is extensive and time-consuming. Here are a few tips to pick up the pieces and fix the broken relationship.
Keep the lines of communication open
To solve problems you must talk to your spouse. Is the decision to conclude the marriage an impulsive choice or has the judgment been reached after a long period of anger and resentment? Does the partner want the divorce or do they simply want the other partner’s attention and focus to work on the relationship?
It is important to listen to your spouse. What are their fears and worries? What do they want to change to in the relationship? Listen while your spouse is expressing their feelings. Do not interrupt them. If they become loud or obnoxious, try to calm them down. They may not relax until they feel they are heard and understood.
Self-examination is a requirement
It is important to give up the arguments over whose “hurt” occurred first. Prioritize finding solutions before assigning blame. The need to continuously hear your spouse apologize may lessen over time. Both spouses need to own up to the mistakes that they have made in the marriage and be willing to change. Disingenuous apologies do not help, but a sincere introspection and commitment to becoming a better spouse can help heal your partner’s pain.
Compliment your spouse
Although it may be difficult when you feel angry with your partner, try to remember his/her positive qualities and the benefits of marriage. Understand that anger fades and feelings change. I am sure there are many things that really angered you just a few years ago that don’t seem to matter anymore. Even though you may not “feel” loved or loving towards your spouse, a compliment and/or a selfless act (for example, washing the dishes or giving the kids a bath without being asked) can initiate real change. It is possible to behave your way back to a successful marriage.
Talk to a counselor
It may be necessary to talk to an unbiased third party. If you cannot seem to resolve the problems in your marriage, seeing a therapist may allow for an open-minded and safe area to talk about your circumstance. The counselor may be able to help with a resolution, especially if you and your spouse rehash the same problems over and over again.
Hiring a Divorce Lawyer
Nobody enters into a marriage thinking that it may end in divorce. If you have taken all possible steps to repair your relationship and you have failed, contact a divorce lawyer. Divorce lawyers understand divorce law and can help evaluate your situation and help you protect yourself and your family.
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