Common divorce pitfallsDivorce is an emotional process. You may be angry, scared, unsettled, or surprised. Emotions are normal and necessary, but having certain emotions and letting them control the divorce process can be dangerous, unnecessarily increasing the cost and length of the divorce. How do you expedite your divorce and avoid high costs? Avoiding certain divorce pitfalls is the first step.
Top divorce pitfalls
- Letting your emotions control the divorce decisions.
There are several common divorce pitfalls, but the first is letting your emotional state or frenzied emotions affect your divorce decisions. Revenge, guilt, hate, or anger may be natural divorce emotions, but they should not rule your divorce decisions. Do not succumb to making or receiving threats, do not bend over backwards just to achieve reconciliation, and do not let your guilt contribute to bad divorce decisions.
Common sense problem solving rather than fighting is critical, but this can best be done when you set your emotions aside.
- Not understanding your financial needs.
It is not unusual for many divorcing spouses to focus on why the divorce is happening rather than how they can get what they need in the divorce process. If possible, set aside your emotional questions and objectively review what you will need to survive the divorce.
Talk to a divorce lawyer for more information, and make sure you do not make any divorce decisions without accurate information about your assets, pensions, social security benefits, and income taxes.
- Refusing to settle out of court.
Mediation and other non-conflict divorce resolution strategies are all the rage today and with good reason. If you and your spouse can avoid an expensive court battle you can save a great deal of money. Money which can be divided between you and your spouse. The good news is divorce mediation does not force you to submit control to the court or your spouse; in fact, you and your spouse may have more control, especially if you can come to a mutually agreeable solution to how your assets will be divided.
- Not understanding your priorities in the divorce and what you need.
Many divorcing couples enter negotiations without understanding what they really need in the divorce. Needs can be emotional, such as security or safety, or financial, but regardless of what they are, it is almost impossible to make good decisions unless they are identified. For instance, if you need a safe home for your children you may want to fight harder to keep your family house and forego other material possessions.
- Failing to plan for tomorrow
After divorce you should strive for sufficient retirement assets, liquid cash, a home, and low debt obligations. Having a huge, nice home is nice, but if you have no liquidity, you will have difficulties. Strive for a balance. Negotiations to ensure you have what you need, however, start at the beginning of the divorce process by understanding what you need.
As mentioned at the beginning of this article, emotions are normal. You may be angry and sad, but eliminating your emotions in the decision making process can ensure you get what you need to survive the divorce.
Is mediation right for you?